Have you ever heard someone define themselves as ace, but you weren’t sure what it meant?
There’s no shame in not understanding. The LGBTQ community includes a vast array of sexuality and gender, which can be challenging to understand at first.
Ace is a casual way of referring to yourself as asexual. There are several misconceptions about asexuality, which I hope to clear up in this article. But before we go in, let me briefly explain how asexuality is defined.
Being ace means that you identify as asexual. Asexuality is when you have little or no interest in having sex. However, that doesn’t mean that all asexuals are sex-repulsed.
It is an umbrella term for those who don’t experience sexual attraction to other people. But in some cases, an ace may still desire romantic relationships.
Some aces would prefer a queerplatonic relationship, where they are in a non-romantic relationship but still have a profound emotional connection.
In these cases, an ace will define themselves as heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, or aromantic. In the case of aromantic asexuals, they would prefer not to have a romantic or sexual relationship.
Types Of Asexuality
To clear up some confusion about asexuality, allow me to explain some different sexualities which fall under the asexual umbrella. Many people who don’t identify as ace may get confused by the labels that fall under here.
So I’ve included some brief explanations of what these mean. Usually, referring to oneself as ace is a more straightforward way of explaining their identity.
Aceflux is when someone fluctuates between their orientation, which always falls within the asexual spectrum. It may also be when someone fluctuates from feeling no attraction to suddenly feeling a lot of it.
Aegosexuality is when they experience a disconnect between themselves and the subject of their arousal.
For example, aegosexuals may fantasize about having sex or view sexual content, but when they do, they imagine it from a third-person point of view and have no desire to engage in it themselves.
Apothisexuality is when someone identifies as ace, but the activity also repulses them. Many apothisexuals will avoid sex in the media. However, sex-repulsed isn’t the same as being sex-negative, which is about finding sex immoral.
Autosexuality is when someone only feels sexual attraction to themself. They may even prefer masturbation to sex with a partner.
Cupiosexuality is when someone still desires sex despite not feeling an attraction to anyone else. Cupiosexuals want sex for physical pleasure or to bond with a romantic partner.
Demisexuality is an orientation where someone can only experience sexual attraction to someone if they have a strong emotional bond.
However, just because they have a solid emotional bond doesn’t mean they will be attracted to anyone they have an emotional bond with.
Freysexuality is when someone only experiences sexual attraction to someone they don’t know well. In many cases, the desire fades once they form an emotional connection.
Being fraysexual is often classed as being the opposite of demisexual.
Sometimes, people might not fit directly into the term asexual but may still believe their experiences align with asexuality. This is called being gray-asexual or graysexual.
Graysexuality is where someone rarely experiences sexual attraction or may only experience it under specific circumstances. They may even fluctuate between periods of sexual attraction and no sexual attraction.
Lithosexuality is when someone feels sexual attraction, but it’s only for someone who doesn’t reciprocate their feelings. In most cases, they would not want a sexual relationship.
Misconceptions About Asexuality
Now that I’ve gone through the various labels that are a part of the asexual umbrella, you may have a better idea of how asexuality works.
As I mentioned before, several misconceptions have appeared about asexuality. In this section, I’m here to debunk these.
Asexuality Is Celibacy
Celibacy is different from asexuality. While celibacy is a choice not to have sex and abstain from it, asexuality is an orientation. As you can see above, being asexual doesn’t mean they don’t have sex.
They just don’t experience sexual attraction in the same way.
Asexuals Don’t Have A Sexuality
Some believe that being asexual means that they don’t have a sexuality. For this reason, asexuality is sometimes referred to as the invisible orientation. Many asexuals still have a libido, have sex, and have kinks.
They’re just not that attracted to other people.
Asexuals Aren’t Attracted To Anyone
Aces can experience romantic attraction. They just don’t experience sexual attraction. Asexuals may still find someone looks nice, want to make friends, or even date someone.
It doesn’t mean they can’t be attracted to someone. Many people confuse all asexuals as being aromantic.
Asexuals Hate Sex
Asexuals don’t necessarily hate sex. They just may not care for it. Being asexual doesn’t mean that you think that sex is immoral or wrong.
Some asexuals may personally be repulsed by it, while other asexuals may still partake in the act.
Asexuals Can’t Have Families Of Their Own
There’s a misconception that asexuals can’t have children or have relationships. Asexuals may want their own family and have sex to have their own.
They may even adopt or conceive via a surrogate. There is no stopping asexuals from having families.
There Aren’t Many Asexuals
In 2004, aces were only 1% of the world’s population. That was around 75 million people. If anything, there are most likely even more today. As you can see, that is no small number of aces worldwide.
If you’re still confused about aces, consider this little analogy. Think of sex as a cake. An ace doesn’t care much for the cake, but they may still eat it.
Maybe they hate cake, so they’ll never eat it again. They may occasionally like cake or just like one particular type of cake.
That is asexuality in a nutshell. Hopefully, as you leave this article, you will have a better understanding of being ace when it comes to the LGBTQ community.
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