How To Come Out As Nonbinary

If you are nonbinary, you may be at a stage where you want to share this with the people who are in your life.

How To Come Out As Nonbinary

This process is different for everyone, and some may wish to take time to think about how they want to share this information.

If you are feeling apprehensive or nervous, you should remember that you are in control of who you choose to tell, and the method that you choose to tell them. 

You should also bear in mind that whenever you are sharing your identity with these people, you are the most important person in the room.

Therefore, you should only do what feels right for you to do. 

Tips For Coming Out As Nonbinary 

1. Write down what you want your loved ones to know prior to starting the conversation. It is entirely normal to feel anxious when you are coming out as nonbinary.

Therefore, to ease your fevers, you can make a rough outline of what you would like to say and you can use this as a prompt during your conversation.

If you become stuck at any point, you can simply refer to your notes and keep the discussion centered on yourself and your identity. You should remember that many people are not familiar with what this term means.

Thus, you should write down some potential questions that they may ask alongside any answers that you wish to deliver. For instance, you may want to talk about what being nonbinary means for you, and the importance of identifying as gender fluid.

You may also wish to write down how coming out as nonbinary will impact your life, and the importance of others knowing about this.

Those around you may wish to know how you coming out will impact your relationship, and any changes that they will need to make.

2. It is always advisable to come out to a younger family member or a friend first. This is because the younger generation are far more likely to be open towards gender identity and fluidity.

Younger people tend to be far more progressive, and thus, telling a younger family member can help you if you are nervous about how older members of your family will react.

They will also be able to have your back during the course of the conversation. Talking to someone who has also come out as LGBTQ+ is also a helpful thing to do.

3. You should carefully choose who you wish to tell, and also remember that you do not have to tell all of your friends and relatives at once. How many people you choose to tell is entirely up to you.

You should also take time to assess how you wish to approach the process. If you are more comfortable coming out to certain friends, then you should focus on telling these friends initially.

If you are unsure who to tell, then you should think about those people in your life who have been the most supportive towards you previously, and tell these people first.

4. Pick a convenient time and a comfortable location. Choosing a spot where you feel most at ease is the most important thing that you can do.

This will prevent you from feeling overly anxious or potentially traumatized in the process of telling loved ones who may not react in the way that you have hoped for.

Thus, choosing a location that is comfortable and where you will not be disturbed, is one of the best things that you can do to comfort yourself.

You should also choose a time when these people will be able to devote enough attention to the conversation without being distracted.

If you are concerned about receiving a negative response, then you may feel far more comfortable telling your loved ones within a public location.

You should consider a coffee shop, or another location to have the discussion.

You should also ensure that the person whom you are telling has enough time to have an in-depth discussion, as you will want them to be accepting and understand the importance of your decision.

5. Crucially, you should ensure that you feel safe prior to coming out. If you are concerned that someone may respond violently to your news, then you should avoid placing your trust in these people.

It is always okay to wait for the best time to tell loved ones. For example, if you are dependent on your parents for somewhere to live, then perhaps consider their response prior to coming out, and wait until you have sourced another place to stay.

If you do choose to come out as nonbinary in this instance, then you should always have a back-up plan in case your parents respond negatively.

For instance, you can ask a friend if you can stay at theirs for a little while if required. You can also put some money into savings if this would provide you with more security.

You can also consider writing a letter to your parents if you are concerned about them reacting negatively to you coming out. This will give them enough time to process the news accordingly.

6. You should make an announcement as clearly and straightforwardly as possible. Saying things as succinctly as possible is the best way to make the process easier.

You may also want to simply say “I’m trusting you with this information, but it would be great if you kept it to yourself for now, this is my information to share.”

You can also opt to share more about your feelings or experiences, and should remember that what you are sharing is completely yours to do so.

7. It is important that you are prepared to answer any questions that may arise. Some people may not understand what the term nonbinary means.

Therefore, if they ask questions, they may be trying to understand what you are telling them. While you do not owe anyone your patience, it may be advisable to be as patient as possible in some instances.

For example, some people may wish to know what nonbinary actually means. You can tell them what this means to you while keeping your answers succinct and understandable.

If any of the questions that they ask make you feel uncomfortable, you can terminate the conversation at any time for your best interests.

How To Come Out As Nonbinary (1)


To conclude, coming out as nonbinary is an important step to take for many people. If you follow the tips that I have outlined above, you will make this process as easy as possible for yourself. Thank you for reading.

Gay Worlley

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